Got a shocking phone call today

My 15 yr old dd babysits for this couple a few streets away. She has for a year now. We found this little job for her on Craigslist. They pay her $10 an hour for a 2 yr old boy and 3 yr old girl. They love having her. Even gave her a generous xmas gift for her commitment. They have had issues in the past with previous babysitters. The mother is very sweet but the father is a bit weird. He is slow speaking but is supposed to be really smart making mucho bucks in Boston.

Mom called me today to talk to me. I thought it was weird. She sounded upset and studdery. I felt so bad for her when she explained a horrible find over the weekend. Her dh was molesting the little girl. He said it wasnt the first time and swears he has touched no one else. He sits in jail right now. They found child porn on his computer. The woman spent much of her time on the phone with me appoligizing and how its all her fault she didnt know and so on. I felt so bad for her. We talked about it for a while. I did talk to my dd and she said nothing ever happened and the little girl never said a thing about it. Mom felt better i think after we talked. I reminded her that its not her fault and she is now doing everything she can to keep him away from the girl. And my dd was fine. We agreed she could still babysit that dad wont be around ever again. I feel so bad for the kids who have never been away from dad and have no idea where he is or why hes gone. Of course they are better off without them and maybe eventually get suppervised visitation.. even though i would love to casterate him! I offered my help in anyway anytime of the day. They are very good kids and mom is really super nice.

I dont understand whats going on with people!

oh that is so sad.. i just dont understand ppl like that but at least he fessed up and admited he needs help before it went over board.. hopefully she is little enough that she wont remember any of it when she gets older and can have a normal life.. I'll keep that family in my prayers tonight

How horrible! I guess you never really know a person. We still won't let our son have sleep overs and he is 6 years. It only takes one time. I can't imagine how this will effect the little girls future. I hope the family gets the help they need right away.

Shannon I just freaked out over what you wrote, I didn't even think of that, letting Olivia have a sleep over at another friend's house. Clearly I would want to know the parents and would ensure they were there, but it never even entered my mind that I would have to worry about something like this, but you are SO right.

That little girl is 3 years old, OH MY GOD. That breaks my heart. I can't imagine, the poor Mom. I am glad that you were able to help her understand it really isn't her fault.

OHHHH that is so awful!! I hate to hear stories like that!!
that is such a shame for the family!!
I agree with limedrop, I hope this little girl isn't affected by this-- poor thing,
And thank God he never tried anything w ur dd!!!

That is awful!!! He doesn't ever need to be around children again....ever!!! That poor little girl. She is young and hopefully with counseling will get over it or block it. Sadly enough though, she may have some trauma with it her whole life. I know someone that was about her age and she never really got over it. We will say a prayer for that family tonight!

That poor, sweet little girl! I agree with Sarina...he deserves what he'll get in jail! Did the mom "catch" him or did he fess up? It's a horrible, despicable thing that he’s done, but in my mind that makes a difference. At least if he confessed he realized he was doing something wrong. That poor family will be in my prayers!

I hate hearing stories like this. Innocent children being taken advantage of. where does this sickness come from?

I am glad that your friend was able to confide in you.

I hope it is not too late for the little girl.

Wow, that’s terrible. At first I thought you were saying that the baby sitter was the one that was being molested but he was actually molesting his own children. That's terrible. I can't even imagine. Poor little girls. I would hope that with them being so young that they won't remember this.

Thanks for the kind words. My dd was still i awe last night. We have already had the talk, What do you do if someone does this to you? I think its very important to keep saying year after year. She has been having this talk since she was very very small. Being a victim myself from the time i was a small toddler till 14yrs old i feel its important to remind my girls about how sick people really are. And just because they are family doesnt mean you can trust them. I have never let them sit on mens laps, not my brothers or uncles, no one. We are always very cautious about who's house they sleep over. Its very hard cause i dont want to shelter them. But i do ask alot of questions and if i dont feel right i just say no.

This mom caught dad in the act. I cant even imagine how she is handling all this. They were supposed to put an offer on another house tomorrow. She has lost her husband, best friend, and her kids lost their dad. Like dh said last night, we just dont understand what makes a man desire young children? We do live in a community where there are several sex offenders. Our neighbor is a level 3. All my kids know to stay away, not to play on that side of the house without a sibling, they know all their faces. We went to the police station and got a huge packet of sex offenders in our town. It was a damn book!

Anyway.. got to run

WOW. I hate assholes like that.

My best firend in high school and her sister were abused as young girls. Like to the age of 7 and 8. There dad would have a poker night, mom would go out. The would lock one child in the closet play with the other one and then switch off. It made me sick when she told me about it. Both of them were pretty messed up in the head. Doing stuff they should not be doing and acting out. Sex at young ages. They are both a lot better now 20 years later after lots of help.

I just hope this little girl forgets all about it since she is so young.

It makes me so mad hearing about things like this...that dad deserves what he gets in jail...i feel so bad for that little girl.

that poor baby, I'm so happy that he never touched your little girl. but that three year old will carry this with her for her life, I hope mom and going to put her into thearpy, if she need refrenses I know some one that works for the hme for little wonders as a social worker and can research quilfied people in your area please let me know if I can help that family. I have worked with child that have been abused for something now and they act out at some point in their life, so please tell her mother do not let this issue go seek help for her.

Thank you for the offer.. From what she said last night she had an apt with a child phyc and family theropy person. The girl has been evaluated 2x by doctors. Poor thing. DH read about it in the paper today. Sick bastard!

That's so horrible. At the same time, I'm glad she caught him while they were still young and this didn't continue to happen. Hopefully she presses charges and the bastard gets what he deserves.

to let you ladies know, in prisons they have different colored bands or something that describes the kind of crime they committed. B/c of the high rate of "bad things" that wind up happening to those kind of people, they get liers bands. They will get something that says maybe, embezzelment or something like that. Unless it gets leaked, he will probably not be harmed (should be in my opionion being one of the abused myself). If it is leaked, they will switch blocks.

I'm sorry you had to go through that so close to home! For my kids, their Dr's and Dad and I always tell them that there are only certain ways a pee pee can be looked at (my kids have problems with urinary stuff). It ALWAYS needs to be with mommy or daddy in the room and its to put medicine on. If the Dr is there, Mommy or Dad will ALWAYS be there.

We live so far out in the sticks, we don't get many invites to sleep overs. Well, we've had one but that was last weekend and I'm still avoiding people.

Jen

UGH. I don't even have any words to describe how horrible this must have been for that little girl and her mother!!! I can't even imagine!! We starting having that talk with our kids as well, the only sleepovers they have had have been with other missionary kids--no way do I trust people enough to let my kids sleep over. Ugh.

Stacey