POST PARTUM

I know this may be a hot topic, but I just wanted to get it out there. Hoping that it may make me feel a little better.

I have never had PPD after having any of my kids. No thoughts about it at all. For some reason the last couple of weeks it is all I have been thinking about.

This baby was not planned. I had an IUD in and got preggers. It took me till about 10 weeks to adjust to the fact I was having a baby and be happy about it. I was so wanting a little girl again. I never got rid of any of Caitlin's things just for that fact. So when the told me it was a boy I was upset. I cried. Yup tears running down my face. I also had the flu and was sweating bad so nobody knew that I was crying. My dh and I both wanted a girl, but I pretty much knew deep down that it was another boy.

So as I have been going through this baby stuff and I come across the stuff that Caitlin wore(yellow and green) I just smile. Then I come across Dylan's boy things and I just through it in the box. Like I am just ticked that I have to be washing it.

I mean PPD is out there so much right now. You have the whole Tom Curise vs Brooke Sheilds show down over it. TV commericals. Crap even General Hospital has it going on right now. So I don't know if that is why it is in my head and I am scaring myself or if I am starting to come down with it. Could it just be me feeling sad that this is my last baby and it is not a girl??? I am just so torn on what to think.

I do plan on asking my OB next week, but just posting it about it makes me feel a little better. I am hoping it is just my hormones running wild right now. However if anybody knows anything about please pass it on.

Great thread, Jamie! I think that it important for all of us to be aware of the symptoms. It could affect any one of us.

I'm sorry that this is bothering you so much. I fully anticipate having PPD. I have a history of mild depression and my mom had serious PPD with all of us. I guess the lucky thing is that it's a chemical thing that can be taken care of with medication, and it is a real thing (not in our heads, thank you Tom).

I am positive you'll be just as in love with your new son as you would with another daughter when he gets here. Thanks for sharing...I know it can be tough to admit things that you think you shouldn't be feeling, but you totally have every right to feel your feelings.

Big hugs!

Jamie, there is actually a pregnancy depression. I forget the name of it, but it can be treated with meds. My bff gets it. So it is entirely possible that you could be suffering from it right now. If you don't want to wait until your appt, you could always call your ob's nurse and tell her how you've been feeling.

Thank you for sharing. PPD is something I worry a little about too. I'm happy to be having a girl, but I worry about all this build up and excitement and then just being utterly drained and worn down by fatigue. I think it's great that we have a support system in this group going into it, but I wouldn't hesitate to talk to your doctor about it. You have nothing to be ashamed of.

I have looked things up online and I really don't think I have the symptoms. Nothing in my every day life has changed. The few things I do have well I am sure we all have them right now:

More tired than usually-hello pregnant
Eating more than usually-yup eating for 2
Hormonal-well is'nt everybody right now

I am just really thinking I am bummed to have another penis running around my house. I really deep down thought with my grandma passing and being due on her birthday that it was going to be a girl. I know it sounds bad, but I am still hoping that is how it comes out.

If do end up with PPD, bet your ass I will be right there at Walmart with my script saying F-U Tom.

Jamie~ I agree! I don't think there is anything wrong with medication helping you through a difficult time! I suffered from depression for many years and was finally diagnosed with bipolar about 15 years ago. When I became pregnant with my son seven years ago all of the depression and anxiety went away. I would like to think that I was cured! Maybe my hormonal balance changed? I have been fine and medicine free eight years. Now, that being said I always fear that something will trigger the depression again so I am always watching myself very carefully. I hope that everything stays ok after the baby is born. If not, I know how to handle it. I have to say that it has been the best seven years of my life thanks to my son.

Thank you for sharing. I think its very normal to be worried, to some degree I am a little worried too. I am worried that I won't feel the same attachment to Avery as I do with Olivia. I am madly in love with Olivia, from the get go I felt attached to her, very maternal, even while she was in the womb, and with Avery all I have done is worry about how this will impact Olivia's life, how I can make sure Olivia is okay, I haven't thought much about Avery. I have even found myself in stores looking for stuff for Olivia, and not Avery. With Olivia I could just stare at her, and I would fall more in love with her every second, and I worry that I won't feel the same about Avery...I am nervous about leaving Olivia while I am in the hospital, worried that she will feel "left out" or alone...

When I came home from the hospital with Olivia I would cry at the drop of a hat, but I never experienced any ill feelings towards her or anything like that, I just couldn't explain why I was crying, and I wasn't sad, I would just cry for no reason, it only lasted a few days, so I am expecting it again. I know with Olivia I was so worried about her, I couldn't eat or sleep, I am hoping that being a second time Mommie I won't be as worried, but who knows how it will turn out.

Like Karen said, pregnancy depression is out there, I haven't read much about it, but I do have a friend that suffered from it, I didn't hear a lot of details about it while she was going through it, more after she had her little one, but she was on meds, and felt like she wasn't herself for a while after having him so she was on meds for quite a while, so it can impact people in very different ways.

And the good news is, we are all here to help each other through it, understand what you are going through and always listen

Thank goodness we will all be here to help each other after the babies are born. I can imagine that postpartum will bring up a whole new crop of topics! We have helped each other so much during our pregnancies. No one had to go through anything alone here. What a great and rare support system we are privileged to have.

Jamie, I hope u start to feel better soon.
I think that maybe u are right, about being disappointed about the gender. I know that i was feeling that in the beginning, i have 2 boys and was hoping for this to be a girl, which it is, i think. i still think that it may turn out to be a boy. and I'm trying to prepare myself, just in case
I cried some in the beginning. I also cried when we found out that DS#2 was a boy and not a girl.

It doesn't mean that ur not going to love ur new LO. Don't be down on yourself!!!

I had PPD with my DD when she was born. It kicked in about a month or so after she came...I think. She was a very sick colicky baby and that did not help matters either. I am praying this time not to have to go through that. Don't worry, it is a normal thing. I was a little bummed that I was having another girl this time around. I really wanted a boy and still think sometimes....what if it comes out with a penis??? LOL. I am happy she is healthy and everything looks good.
It will all work out. When you see that LO's face, you will be thrilled that he is healthy and that pregnancy is over. We are all here. Thank God we have our small little group of supportive women here. It has been nice to have it while going through pregnancy. After all of our LO's are born, then we still have each other for any issues. Hang in there Jamie.

Jamie, I'm glad you brought this up, it's something that each of us needs to at least think about. I had never worried about PPD with my first child, I guess the excitement of it being the first and getting all the new stuff, painting, getting the room ready, etc. So when I got pregnant (8 months later) with DS #2, I didn't think I would be affected either. Well, I was. It was a tough pregnancy, we had just moved to Peru, so I was in a country where I didn't feel confident with the language, he was breech, I felt like crap, I had an idiot doctor who basically only told me not to eat spicy foods or wear high heels (that was the extent of my prenatal care), I gained tons of weight, and to top it off, there were people here telling me to try to deliver him in the breech position. I read up so much on the internet (too much) and freaked myself out. I cried like the last 2 months of the pregnancy and finally came to the decision that to deliver breech just wasn't an option and so I decided to have a c/s. I don't know if it was because I was so stressed during the pregnancy or not, but DS #2 was SOOOO colicky and fussy! I was exhausted, had 2 kids under 2 years old and then this one was so needy. I cried every day for months...I didn't have ill feelings towards him, but I just was not happy. I was miserable. My parents came to visit and I'm sure they thought I was totally psychotic (my dad hasn't returned for any of the other births--that's how bad it was)! Alas, it did slowly go away, but I still feel like if I had been less stressed during the pregnancy I could have done something about it. I don't think it's really true and I probably should have been on some light meds or something to at least help me deal with things, but oh well. Anyhow, it didn't affect me with DS #3, and now with this one, even though we weren't planning on having another one and I'm excited, I also fear that I will be affected a bit with PPD. I think knowing that we are supporting one another will help. PS...I have 3 boys and this one is a surprise but will probably be a boy also...ode to the penis. NOT.

I was just talking to my husband about this last night. I told him to keep an eye out for me and depression. I don't know if it is something that I will see myself or not. I know how serious it is so I wanted him to be aware.