Need to vent...

Ok ladies,
This is a long story but I will try to make it short... SO and I met and started dating. Everything was great and I thought wow he is exactly what I have always needed or wanted in a man. Well, after a year he proposed and so now we set a date to be married October 4th. To make it short, we couldn't get married because I found out that he was married but now my son was calling him dad and it was hard for me to just throw it away so I gave him a choice you either leave or we are done. So of coarse he chose to stay with me and work it out.
Well, that was in May that we had to cancel all of the wedding plans and start working on our relationship that was a huge LIE before. We were getting along great when I got pregnant, and now it seems like it is falling apart even more. Really quick, we had discussed starting to try to get pregnant and we were told that it wouldn't be easy because of my health problems, they were wrong. We have no communication, no sex life, and we hardly see each other. DS is upset because he wants to see him more and when I try to explain this to him it just makes me upset because when he was married he was around everyday all day long and now we are lucky if we see him on the weekend. He is currently living at his parents house becasue him and his ex have sold their house and are going through the divorce. I just don't understand why he is like this after I have forgiven him (not forgotten) for what he has done. Please help, I need your advice!!

I am sorry you are going through this...

Why isn't he living with you?

I am sorry you are going through this. I dont have much advise- but you need to take care of yourself and your kids..and the both of you need to decide if he is capable of being the kind of man your family needs right now. This part-time thing wouldnt cut it with me (plus I would always be suspicious of what he was doing- but that is just me- i have trust issues)

Sorry to pry- but was he married, living with his wife, and seeing you on the side...or was he seperated and just not got around to filing.

He was married, living with her, and with me. He isn't living with me because I needed my time to get past everything and we decided that we would move back in together when we got a place. We were trying to buy a house together and now we have put that on hold because we aren't getting along.

You're right, I do need to put my children first and that is what had lead up to this is me putting my foot down and he doesn't like it. I am not one that likes to share my life on the interenet but my friends don't even know the whole story otherwise I know they would not back me up on my decision to stay with him. Now, would even make it worse so this was my only way to get advice and I really appreciate it! Please don't feel like you are prying info out of me, I will tell you just so I can get your advice. Thank you again

You said "We have no communication, no sex life, and we hardly see each other"

In my opinion, you arent currently in a relationship. I dont know how you two feel about counseling- but obviously, you have to discuss and work on if you want this to work out.

I am no good at giving advice but i wanted to lend my support. Im sorry you are going through this especially at a time that your supposed to be really happy in welcoming in a new baby. Ihope things eventually work out for you both.

Best wishes

wow, you are in a very tough situation, and i really feel for you. it would be hard enough to deal with his deception under normal circumstances, but with the baby on the way, it's all magnified.

my advice would be to be as honest as you possibly can be with yourself, and find someone (counselor, pastor, etc.) with whom you can confide completely and seek guidance... your son and baby are relying on you for their health and well-being. You have to take care of yourself first so you can take care of them.

stay strong!
Amy

God bless you and your family. My thoughts are with you. I had a similar experience with my ex husband. He cheated on me right under my nose, not once, but twice. The second time, I left him. I could not trust him anymore and in my opinion, if you don't trust someone, you really don't have much of a relationship. Most relationships are built on trust and communication. Me personally, I could not trust him after all those lies. I would think "that could happen to me one day." I agree with the other girls, try to find a good counselor for you and your son, keep yourself strong and healthy for your baby and your son. Everyday will get easier and you will see more clearly what you have to do for yourself and them. When you know what you have to do, never look back, and stick to your decision. Good luck to you. It hurts like hell, but I swear, it will get better. I have never been happier than what I am now with my second husband. He is a wonderful man who is not only my husband, but also my best friend. Let us know how you are doing. If you ever want to talk please feel free to email me. Good luck and God bless.